- Well, hey, good morning, Highlands. I wanna welcome all of our folks who are joining us online and on TV. And we're super excited today to be able to finish up this series called "Influencer". As we were preparing, this is kinda, I reflected a little bit on my life. It was back in the fall, the fall of '86. As I say that, it's a little bit frightening to me. And so, I think about it, but I was a junior in high school. And my family, I was raised out in Virginia Beach, and my family decided it was time to move. My father was retiring from the United States Navy. And so, we were gonna move across the state to a little town called Richlands, Virginia. I still remember that day. I remember walking into Richlands High School, and when I did, we began the enrollment process. I was talking with the secretary and I'm looking around. I'm trying to get my bearings on this new environment. It's a new town, it's a new place, it's a new school. And I asked the secretary, "Hey, is there any chance that this high school "has a wrestling team?" I had been involved in that going up to that point. I was hoping to continue on. And it was really, really busy in the high school at that time. And she said, "Yes, yes, we do have a wrestling team." And actually, in the midst of all the commotion, I could hear one big, loud voice that was in the hallway making its way around the corner and to the office. She said, "I think I hear the wrestling coach right now." And man, was she right. She was so right, because I heard the voice of Rick Blevins long, long before I ever met him. But I have to say, that one meeting, meeting this man, Rick, he changed my life. God really changed my life through him. Oh, he taught me a lot about wrestling, he did. But he really also taught me how to compete, and that was different than just teaching some moves. And then he taught me a lot of things that were way beyond the wrestling mat. He taught me things like how to hunt, how to fish. He even taught me how to eat pinto beans, or soup beans, as we call it around here. And so, and this was really weird. I thought he had lost his mind. It really made me question my relationship with him. But in pinto beans, he put lettuce, relish, and mayo, mayonnaise, inside pinto beans. Now, when I first saw it, I thought, you have lost your mind! There is no way a human should ever do that to pinto beans! And then he said, "Just try it, just try it. "It'll change your life. "I don't know for the good or for the bad, "but it'll change you." Nonetheless, Rick Blevins taught me a lot in a lot of different areas of life. Most important things that he taught me, really, integrity. Integrity. And then he taught me something that forever changed who I am. He taught me how to follow Jesus. Well, I share that with you because there's a story I wanna share a little bit with you from the scripture, and it's about a young man named Timothy. Timothy, in Acts Chapter 16, he meets a man by the name of Paul. And this encounter, this creation of relationship, it changes Timothy's life forever. And so, the passage that I wanna share with you today actually comes out of Second Timothy. Paul begins to develop a relationship with Timothy that grows very, very intimate. I mean, these guys become the best of friends, so intimate that in Second Timothy Chapter 2, Verse 1, Paul opens by saying this. "You, then," as he's speaking to Timothy, "My child." Now, he's not really his child. It's the way that Paul looks at the relationship. He's like a spiritual child. And this is what he has to say to Timothy. "Be strengthened by the grace that is in Christ Jesus." He's saying, "That relationship has changed you, Timothy, "and this is what I want you to do with it. "What you have heard from me "in the presence of many witnesses, entrust," that is, give that, invest that, use your influence now, "To change the lives of faithful men "who will be able to teach or influence others also." I wanna share a message with you this morning from the perspective of Timothy. I want you to think about this from Timothy's perspective and what Paul was speaking into his life. And I wanna share with you three people that I realize that I and you, we all need in our lives. Here's the first person, The first person is, I need somebody who has gone before me in my life. I need what I'm calling a mentor. I need somebody who's already been there and done that. They've been further down the road than where I have yet to travel, right? And so, I need that person in my life. I see this all through the scripture. Moses had a guy named Joshua. Elijah had a guy named Elisha who would follow him. And then Paul here has a Timothy. And so, when I'm looking at this, I realize these mentor relationships are invaluable. And so, I wanna talk first of all about why I felt like this was so important. Why is a mentor valuable? Well, the scripture says this in Proverbs 15, Verse 22. "Without counsel, plans fail." That is, sometimes I make decisions without getting the counsel, the advice, the mentorship that I really need in my life. But with many advisors, they succeed. So, a few things that I want you to consider that are valuable from the perspective of having a mentor in your life. First of all, we can learn from their experience. We can learn from their experience. We don't have time to learn everything by experience, but you could learn from a mentor from their experience, right? And so, I remember several years ago, I had this, I think I lost my mind for a little season of life and I thought, I wanna run a marathon. And the problem is, a marathon's 26.2 miles. And I wasn't running at all. I just was sitting on the couch one day. I thought, I'm gonna go ahead and do that. And so, I began the journey, and I don't even really like running, but I just thought, I wanna be able to do this. The more my training began to proceed, the more I realized there were things that I didn't know that I didn't know. And so, there was a guy that I used to work for. He was my principal and he had run multiple marathons, and really had become one of the elite runners in the entire nation. And so, I went to George Brown. I said, "George, would you help me? "Because I don't know what I've really gotten myself into." And then he began to explain to me things about shoes, about clothing. And then the other thing that I realized, the more I ran, there were things that started to rub that shouldn't rub, okay? It's just like, what am I gonna do about these? And then he changed my life by telling me there's this stuff called Body Glide. And Body Glide, it changed everything. But I didn't know that, but I could learn from George's experience, and he extended his experience into my life. And I would say that a mentor is valuable for that reason. Here's the second thing that I find valuable about a mentor. We can, look, I can't see everything in my life. We all have blind spots. Those are the things that I just don't know are around the corner. And I need somebody who's already been around the corner who can see these things in me and can also see these things about the journey that I'm on. Man, it was easy, I'm looking at this and I thought, now I'm an old "Rocky" fan, okay? I gotta be honest with you. I know you saw Allen and I earlier today. But I actually am really a "Rocky" fan. And in "Rocky II", I remember, Rocky's in the middle of the bout and his eye is so swollen that he finally looks at his corner man, Mickey. And he says, "Cut me, Mick, cut me!" And I'm like, why did he want Mick to cut him? Because he developed a blind spot. He couldn't see. And so, I'm never gonna look at my mentor and say, "Hey, cut me." I'm not gonna say, "Cut me." But I am gonna say this. "What do you see that I don't see? "What blind spots am I unaware of?" I mean, that's the real advantage to having mentorship in my life. And so, I am thankful for their experiences and I'm thankful for their vision. And then here's the third thing that I felt like was valuable about having a mentor. It is realizing they can so easily expand our network. Our network. I thought about Timothy in the scripture. Every time I saw him, he was connecting with people because Paul introduced Timothy to other people in other towns. He radically changed Timothy's network. And then I thought about my own life. Do you know it was through Rick Blevins that I met Pastor Allen? And it was through Pastor Allen, then, that I met a guy named JR Woodward. And it was through JR that I met this guy named Mike Pumphrey. All of those guys helped shape me along the way. I realized, though, it began with one mentor who God used to expand the people that I know. It's not just, look, with a mentor, it's not just what they know, it's not just what they see, but it's who they can introduce to you that can also broaden what God is doing in your life today. And so, hey, look. For all of those reasons, I would say, I understand I need a mentor in my life. Now, here's the big question. How do you choose one? How do you choose the person? Or do I just wait? I mean, do I wait for somebody to finally look and say, "Hey, man, I see something in you "that I think I'd like to begin "to build this relationship with you." I mean, how does that work? Well, first of all, let me just begin by saying this. There is no substitute for prayer and the sensitivity to the Holy Spirit in your life. We sometimes can manufacture these things. We can look at people by their popularity, but there's no substitute for prayer. I need the Holy Spirit to awaken my heart and open my eyes to see those who are in front of me. And I need the same thing to be happening in their life towards me so that there can be a connection that is healthy. So, I would say start there. Start with prayer. And then I wanna extend these three questions to you. First of all, is this person where you want to be? And be certain of this. Don't assume that the person that you're looking at as a potential mentor is automatically where you want to be, because you haven't seen life from their perspective. And you have to really ask the question, are they where you're trying to get to? And then, I think oftentimes, that's the first question we ask, but this is the more important question. And I don't know that we ask this enough. Is this person who you want to be? Not just where you wanna be, because sometimes we have ambitions to get further up a ladder or further down the road, and so, we look at where people are. But we don't really look at who they are. And this is not a question of position. This is a question of character. Who is this person? And so, why is that so important? I want you to listen to what Jesus had to say. In Luke Chapter 6, and those of you that are doing the 90 Days Through The New Testament, man, we've read this passage already. In Luke Chapter 6, Verse 40, the scripture says, "A disciple's not above his teacher." but notice this. "Everyone, when he is fully trained, "will be like his teacher." You will be like your teacher. So, the people that you begin to form a relationship through a mentorship, you spend such an intimate amount of time, you have to ask the question, do I know who this person is? Do I know who this person is? And is this who I want to be? And Jesus would warn us of that. In fact, the more I began to follow Jesus and learn to trust his voice, the more the same thing that happened in John the Baptist's life, "May there be less of me and more of him," begins to develop. And that's true of any mentorship, as Jesus shares with us in Luke 6:40. The last question I would encourage you to think about as you choose a mentor is, can you trust this person? Can you trust this person? Is this person trustworthy? Trust is the bedrock of any relationship. And so, if you feel like there is fear in trust, man, it could be a red flag that you've not identified where God is leading you to form a mentorship in your life. Well, that's the first person that I feel like I've always needed in my life is somebody who is in a place that I have yet to get. They're a little further down the road. And God has connected me with several people who are just like that, and I am thankful for them. Here's the second person that I need in my life. I need people not only in front of me, but I need people beside me. I need to know that as I'm on this road of following Jesus, that there are people to my right and to my left, that I am traveling along with people who are also trying to follow Jesus. And so, these are people that I would call friends. Now, I know that many of you are sitting here today and you're thinking, Craig, I got a lot of friends. I understand that, but I'm not talking about surface-level friends. And I think when I look at our culture, that's what dominates friendship in our lives, surface-level friends. But I'm talking today really about the rare friendship that is committed to the friendship. I felt like the best place to take a look at this was in the Old Testament. There is a friendship between two men, Jonathan and David. And there's a verse that is found here in First Samuel Chapter 18 that I feel like gives such a unique description of friendship that I wanted us to take a look at it. Look with me at Verse 1. "As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul," Now, notice this, this phrase. "The soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David." Now, if you wanna know what real friendship looks like, this is it. And yet, you may not really understand. What does that mean, his soul was knit to the soul of David? Well, I tell you what it results in. This is how the verse concludes. "Jonathan loved him as his own soul." How rare is that in our day? Jonathan's soul was so uniquely connected to him. The word knit means bound and bound means committed. Jonathan loved David just like he would love himself. How much so? I want you to think about this. You read the scripture, you realize Jonathan forfeited the throne that was rightfully his in that day, and he yielded it because he believed David, his friend, was the better man for the job and the one that God had called. That's big, because our selfish ambition sometimes want our friends just to continue to support our cause. Man, I see a love and a commitment from Jonathan towards David that is amazing. And I think, that's the kind of friendship that I want in my life. Now, why? Why are those friends so necessary in life? By the way, if you've got a friend like that, if you've got one friend like that, you need to thank God for them. You thank God for a friend that would love you as they love themselves. And so, as I look here, I wanna share just a few thoughts about why real friendship is necessary. One, we all experience valleys. Every one of us experience valleys. Now, fair-weather friends, they will rejoice when I rejoice. They have no problem doing that. Things are great, they wanna be around me because we like fun times, we like celebrations, we like a great party. But true friends, true friends, they will also weep with me when I weep. A fair-weather friend will not, but a true friend will. I want you to listen to Jesus the night before his death. This is Jesus surrounded by his friends. And I want you to listen to what Jesus begins to ask for from them. Matthew 26, Verse 38 says this. "Then Jesus said to them, 'My soul is sorrowful.'" This isn't like a mountain top experience. Man, this is a moment where he is in great need. "My soul is very sorrowful even to the point of death." And then this is what he says. "Remain here, watch with me, pray with me. "I need to know that right now, you're here with me." Everybody has valleys. Jesus had valleys. As we follow Jesus, we will experience valleys. And I'm telling you, when I'm in the valley, I need to know that somebody that's following Jesus is there with me. I need that in my life. You do, too. You do, too. Well, here's the second thing I would say about why I need friendship. It's because we all have things in life that we need to hear, we just don't wanna hear. I need somebody in my life who will tell me what I need to hear, but I don't wanna hear. I go back to my college days. In that day, an inspection sticker in the state of Virginia cost $10. I was out at college and I found a way that I could save $2, but I had to go to a certain garage. I just didn't realize that $2 was gonna cost me $600 before I got out of that garage. I was so mad. I wasn't kinda like filled with the Spirit. I was filled with the spirit of bitterness at this time. So, I told my roommate, I said, "Look, I'm going back down to that garage "and I'm gonna get a few things straight. "It'd probably be good for me to have a witness with me." This tells you where my mind was, right? And so, I remember when I walked in, man, the little office, they're never really big at a garage. But it was full of people that day, everybody waiting to get an $8 inspection sticker. And as we did, I looked over, and the guy made eye contact with me. And he said, "Hey, can I help you?" And I knew he didn't remember me from a couple days before. I said, "Yeah, yeah, you can help me. "First thing you can do is find somebody here "that knows how to work on a vehicle." And he was like, "What?" And so, then it began to escalate, and he could tell the escalation in the office wasn't really a healthy thing for business. So, he asked me, "Would you like to go outside?" What he was trying to do was to remove all of what was going on inside away from that. Only thing I heard was he invited me outside, to which I said, "You bet I'd like to go outside with you." And so, it was really not a Spirit-filled moment. When we got out there, then the owner comes over. And my roommate, Scott, who is really one of my absolute, he's probably my best friend in the entire world to this day. And the guy says, "Man, things just got so loud." And he said, "The guy started raising his voice." And I said, "Look, I wasn't raising my voice. "Scott, was I raising my voice?" And Scott looked, in that moment when I needed him, and he said, "Yes, you were raising your voice." To which I was somewhere between, "What did you just say," and, "Just shut up, "I don't wanna hear any more that you have to say!" I was somewhere in between there. But what Scott did in a moment was he said what I needed to hear, not what I wanted to hear. I believe that every one of us have those moments where that need is in our lives. And when I'm looking at the scripture, I think it's rare. As I look at it, look with me at Proverbs 27, Verse 6. It says this. "Faithful are the wounds of a friend." And I remember reading that, I think, what does that even mean? It means sometimes your closest, your most committed, the souls that are knitted to your soul are going to tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear. And the wound is healthy. And it's actually not healthy to have people continue to tell you what you wanna hear, because it goes on and says, "Profuse are the kisses of an enemy." And so, you just build people around you to say what you wanna hear. I have times in my life where I need people to say what needs to be heard. And then the last thing that I wanna share with you in concerns as to why real friendship is necessary is we grow more together. I think we know this, right? Proverbs 27, Verse 17 says, "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." But as I have continued on this journey in life, I've realized if I wanna be a better man, if I really do wanna be a better husband, if I wanna be a better dad, then I need people around me who also are sharpening me. We sharpen one another. And I have found great encouragement through relationships just like that. Now, I wanna challenge men today. I wanna challenge, because I see a lot of women creating a lot of healthy movement, but men are so reluctant. And I thought, why is it? Early on in my life, this concept of iron sharpening iron, it was all done on an athletic field. Well, those days are behind me and they are for so many of us that are in here today. But the reality is I still need a relationship that hones me, that sharpens me. And so, God brings these friendships in my life. And I would say this. In each of our locations, there is a way for you to join a group. And I think it's so important for you to find yourself into a small group ministry, because that's where you're gonna form those kinds of relationships. You used to get into a huddle. Many of you men, you used to get into a huddle on an athletic field. Now you need one because you're also learning to follow Jesus. And if you'll do that with other people, you will find that you will grow so much faster than you do without them. Third person I need in my life, I also need to recognize this. I am called to the ones who are also behind me. Now, I didn't notice that for a long time, but I am called to recognize there are those who are following me. Do I see them? I want us to see this. Look where Timothy, we've been talking about Timothy and Paul. Look where Timothy's faith actually began. Well, it actually began with God, but this is how God worked. Second Timothy Chapter 1, Verse 5 says this. "I am reminded of your sincere faith, "a faith that dwelt first," where? "In your grandmother, Lois, and your mother, Eunice. "And now their faith "I know is also in you as well." I think it's an awesome thing for us to recognize there are followers, first of all, in our own families. I think we teach our sons and daughters a lot of different things, how to make straight As and how to throw touchdown passes and how to throw strikes. But the big question is, do we teach them to know who Jesus is? And so, do I teach them how to follow Jesus? Recently, I had a conversation with one of my best friends, name's Jamie, and he would be one of those guys that I'm walking through life with. And at Christmastime, we sat down and he talked to me about his concerns. He's got three sons, three sons, and the oldest of which is getting ready to graduate high school, and then they trickle down behind that. And he was just, I could tell inside him, he had such a concern for, "Are my sons ready to face life? "Because it feels like I'm losing the days "that I had plenty of early on." And then my question to him was this. "Jamie, are your sons ready to raise your grandchildren?" And he's like, "What?" And I said, "I want you to think about it in this way. "Are your sons ready to raise your grandchildren? "Because that's who's gonna do it." It was like the light bulb clicked on. And he was like, "God help us. "My sons are gonna raise my grandchildren." "Yes, they are." And I look at that and I think, that's exactly what Paul was telling Timothy in Second Timothy 2:2. You've gotta take what's been given to you and give it on, not just for them, but you've gotta know that they're ready to give it on. Don't miss that, don't miss that. Sometimes we only think about the generation before us, but you've gotta consider the one coming behind them as well. Well, how do I best serve those who are behind me? How do I do that? Three things I wanna share just real quick. First of all, be consistent. I'm not talking about being perfect, but I am talking about being dedicated. This is a sobering verse. This is something that challenged me many years ago as a dad. Proverbs 23, Verse 26 says this. "My son, give me your heart." And then it says this. "Let your eyes observe my ways." And I think that is a dad looking at their child and saying: I want you to see me not only on Sunday, but I want you to see me on Monday. Will there be times that I fall? Yes, but I want you to see that I'll dust myself off. I'll say I'm sorry to those that I need to and I'll make things right wherever I need to. But I also want you to see, man, I'm following Jesus as best I can on every single day of the week. Let your eyes look upon me. I'm not perfect, but I'm doing my best to lead you as I follow Jesus. Be consistent. Also, be flexible. Not everybody learns the same way or at the same pace, but you have to be flexible and allow that to develop. And then third, as I close here this morning, be humble. Humility is a key if you're gonna reach the next generation. It's not coming across like you've got all the answers or you've got it all together. But I realized this, and it was the reason that I felt like humility was so important. Sometimes I think you and I try to hide or even leave our past in the past. Why? Well, sometimes we're ashamed of it. And sometimes I also realize I don't wanna experience the pain of the past again. But I want you to look at this verse, and as we do, my question would be, would you humble yourself enough to let God use your past in a way that could change generations and followers behind you? Second Corinthians Chapter 1, Verses 3 to 4 says this: Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord, Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort who comforts us in our affliction so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. Well, what is the Lord trying to teach us there? I think he's saying this. If you'll humble yourself, I've brought you through a valley that you could now help others who are going through that same valley. Are you willing to do that? Sometimes I think we look back and we think, I don't even wanna talk about it. I'm too ashamed, or I don't wanna experience that stuff. I'm so far, look, I don't want, but if you did, if you did, you could help others who are struggling today, struggling today. Well, three people we all need. I want you to see these three people in a very, very practical way. I want you to check out this recording of Bethany Carr. It's her story and how God is at work in her life right now as she leads this thing called Mothers of Preschoolers, or MOPS.
- My name is Bethany Carr, and I joined MOPS after my first child was about six months old, and I have two young kids. And I've been blessed to, recently, lead MOPS here at Highlands. And MOPS is just a program for moms. It stands for Moms Of Preschoolers, but really, we have moms from babies all the way through high school adults. How I got connected and how I made friendships here was through MOPS. And still to this day, the vast majority of people that I truly know, have experience of are from the MOPS group. First we have a group of moms We call them mentor moms in MOPS. But they are all women whose children are mostly grown. Most of them have grandchildren. They have been where we are, and so, they have a unique perspective that they can offer us that no one else really can. And not only have they been where we are, but they survived or even thrived where we are. And seeing that they've had those hard experiences and they can share those with us. And they are such encouragement, and just lovingly back us in motherhood and in other areas of our lives as well. So, that's the first part of the structure that's really pouring into the box of MOPS. And then second, obviously, it's a group full of moms, so we are surrounded with each other, people that are in those straits of motherhood with us. We try to create an atmosphere that's a judgment-free zone where you can just, you can talk about all the great things and your kids taking their first steps, they're going off to college, whatever it is. But also, never shelters from the hard part that isn't necessarily easy to talk about. But we all have that ugly side. And we can get encouragement from each other and talk about how God's working in our lives in the midst of this season. But basically, we're just doing life together. So, we have the word pouring in to us, us doing life together, encouraging each other to do our best. And ultimately, the whole purpose is that we can pour into new focus. But we think it's important to remember that God leads to more positive growth. And so, if you're there, you hear it takes a village. But it's like that in any challenge he's gonna call us, not just in motherhood, that people pour into you, you pour into others. But you also need the peer group. But ultimately, all we do, we try to bring glory to God, and we are responsible for your training. But ultimately, God is the most prosperous giver.
- Well, I love the story that Bethany is sharing because I can see there in MOPS where all of these things are coming together. You have mentor moms investing in current moms, moms walking together, and moms who are investing in helping to lead those who are coming behind them. I wonder in your life today, have you identified those people? Have you thought about who's further down the road than you are? Have you thought about who's traveling with you? And do you ever turn to realize God would like to help the people who are also following you? All of that begins in one relationship. Jesus would say this first. "You come follow me. "And as you do, "I will make you capable of leading others as well." And so, I wonder for many of you today who are listening and you've heard us talk about a very practical message in relationships and influence, it needs to first start in the surrender of your life to Jesus. That's something that I think that the Holy Spirit may be dealing with you right now. And you're wondering, what do I do with that? Could I lead you right now in a time of prayer to where you would just begin to surrender your life to following so that you could also help lead others as well? Let's pray. Father, thank you for this day. Thank you for this time. Thank you for the wisdom that you shared with us. And I thank you for those who you've placed in our lives who are further down the road than we are. Open our eyes to the Pauls in our life. And Father, also thank you for those who are traveling with us because we need those who will celebrate, but we also need those who will weep with us in the moments where we're just struggling. And Father, help us to now also turn around and see, there are generations coming behind us. Help us to invest and to lead well. Father, right now I realize that there could be some who are aware they've never answered the call of Jesus. It's a call that you are making on their lives to surrender and begin to follow you. And so, I pray for them today. I pray that your spirit would lead them to this moment that just says, "I'm yours, I'm yours. "Forgive me for what I've done. "I want to follow you all the days of my life." Please do that for your glory. I thank you, Father. Thank you for life, the opportunity to enjoy it not in isolation, but with you and with others. In Jesus' name, amen.